Friday, January 15, 2010

fade out, fade in

I'm been noticing that some things that are consequences of being depressed, rather than actual symptoms fade out a lot more easily than they fade back in.

Take meals, dinner in particular, I'm not going to claim that I had some amazing system and produced beautiful, nutritional dinners on a daily basis, but things chugged along ok. I had my system and was improving it, getting used to products and sizes available in the US etc. then along comes depression and gaps start to appear, take outs and convenience food increases, fresh ingredients decrease and eventually reduces to zero and I don't really even notice.

Thanks to scheduled delivery with Amazon Fresh, groceries appear, but given they haven't yet got it all wired into our fridges and freezers, sandwich fillings multiple, but we have no bread to put them on, or vice versa.

We survive, people bring meals around (thank you!), but often I don't remember who brought what, or what they brought it in, resulting in random containers multiplying and I've no idea who to return them to (shout if you think we have something of yours!).

We continue to survive, I try to buy things for the cupboards and freezer, so we always have something on hand, but I forget where I put them, or even that I ever bought them and I forget to check the labels (who knew that tomato paste wasn't necessarily wheat free).

So whilst I feel like in terms of depression I'm better today than I was in March, dinner landing on the table is worse than various points even after then, when there was still some underlying organisation.

It would seem like as my symptoms get better then so also should dinner, but it seems that there is definitely a significant time lag and that I'm going to really have to take some steps to try and pull things together.

My freezer keeps throwing chicken thighs at me, obviously I went through a phase of buying them in bulk if they were on sale as they are in packages from different stores.

Having plenty of things on hand actually makes menu planning harder, I used to plan 5 or 6 meals each week and I'd have a pretty good idea without looking what I needed to buy and what I should have on hand, so it was a pretty quick process and I could cope with any inaccuracies. Now, planning a week of meals seems like a huge task, I would have to check almost every single item, which even then might not be very reliable, given how many different places I've discovered pineapple in recently. So I don't plan, which may save me a big task on one day, but instead presents a daily challenge.

I feel like to get things going again I need to take an inventory of my cupboards and freezer, but when am I going to do that? I do have a plan for tonight though, coconut pork with peaches.

I use dinner as my example, but it seems like the same applies across all areas of life.

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