Thursday, October 29, 2009

So, how am I doing?

I've had two full days at home, doing normal life, so it seems like a good time to evaluate how I feel it's going.

Bottom line is, we're surviving. One of the main things that was bothering me about being at the hospital was how the house, which isn't generally very tidy was disintegrating further. We have cleaners every other week at the moment and I felt my main job was to get the place ready for them coming yesterday morning. I managed that reasonably well, but I still feel there is more that needs doing before I can even think about setting up regular routines.

I'm struggling with exhaustion, narcolepsy isn't a good starting point and I've come off the drug that was making me sleep, unfortunately still having to replace it, with something that I think gives me a lesser quality of sleep (type of sleep is a characteristic feature of narcolepsy and contributes to day time tiredness). I could definitely do with being more physically fit, my plan is to start dancing again in November, but that may not be enough.

Since coming off Seroquel, I do feel my mood is lower, but it's stable, rather than volatile, which is definitely a good thing. I find this time of year hard anyway, I don't like the US way of doing Halloween and we don't have any family traditions around it. To me a carved pumpking with a light in is for the purpose of warding off the devil, so there are no carved pumpkins in this house! On facebook and in real life, I see most families having some kind of family tradition about acquiring pumpkins, whether that be at the supermarket or the pumpkin patch.

Preschool has a fall festival as an alternative to Halloween, but even there, there doesn't seem to be much understanding of the origins and smiley faces on pumpkins are a common occurance and it still has a lot in common with US Halloween, rather than the complete detachment alternative events I've been to in the UK have had.

Obviously Bonfire Night isn't celebrated here, I never really thought I'd miss it, but I do, we often used to go to my rowing club, which allowed kids to get a good view of the fireworks without the big bangs and it was an excuse to make toffee, or toffee apples.

Thanksgiving means nothing to us, so it's kind of an annoying long weekend, shops are mostly closed on the Thursday, then completely overflowing on the Friday.

Christmas is what we make of it ourselves and as yet, I don't feel we've established traditions, of the seven years we've been married, 3 were spent in the UK, 1 in Korea and 3 here and it's only since we've been here that we've had children old enough to really know what's going on. I try to keep up with traditional British christmas foods, but it can be hard to get ingredients and other things traditional about Christmas aren't easily available, such as crackers. I miss going to church on Christmas morning, here, most churchs have a service on Christmas Eve. There also isn't for us the mad dash of trying to squeeze in visits to all our relatives, which leaves me wondering what to do between Christmas and New Year.


Achelois said...

There was me thinking I was the only one that had to clear up for my 'new' experience of having a cleaner!! It must be difficult to take on new traditions and at the same time miss life long one's from home - you sound more than a little homesick. Perhaps you will be lucky and get lots of invites out to share US traditions. If its any help its dark and a little gloomy over here right now whilst we all get used the clock change. Take care and its good that you managing the med change as well as can be expected. You make me feel bad about complaining about the EDS with everything you put up with. Take care.

3boysmama said...

I think Christians in the US are trying to redeem the holiday of Halloween, but i'm not sure of how much success they are having. The same idea of Christmas, that was originally a pagan holiday that Christians made into a celebration of Christ's birth.

As an adult I find I dislike Halloween more and more. As a kid i have happy memories, just a day where we dressed up in costume, and nothing more. As an adult I see the darker side more and I dislike that people want to celebrate evil.
I'm sure its harder for you becasue you have no memories or happy associations from your childhood with the holiday. You do sound homesick and I'm so sorry! As for crachers, I've seen those around more and more the past few years. I'm sure you could find some, although I dn't think the quality of items inside are anything great!