Monday, September 28, 2009

Not the best way to spend an evening.

I've been struggling with a migraine since the middle of Saturday afternoon, I thought it was gone when we woke Sunday morning, but within a couple of hours it was back and Andrew had to take me home from church. The head and eye symptoms made me confident a migraine was the correct diagnosis, but it came with a lot worse sickness than I have experienced in the past. Fortunately we had some Zofran left from my last migraine, which was before I got pregnant with Grace.

I finally dozed off in the late afternoon only to wake feeling like an elephant had trodden on my chest. It took me a long time to summon up the courage to even move and I beeped Andrew on the internal phone. Of course the nurse line for our health insurance said call 911, but Andrew's mum as a retired doctor was confident that that wasn't necessary and going to the ER was really a matter of comfort rather than medical necessity.

With Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, I didn't feel confident leaving chest pain unchecked, though the end result was that the checks were fine and I got the same meds IV that I'd previously had orally and they did a much better job, I feel like a different person. I hope it really is over.

The follow up is to go back to my neurologist and talk about preventers which you take as soon as you feel one coming on. I need to talk to him about how my narcolepsy is being managed as well, so it's good timing.

Next week is a busy week with lots of appointments, thank goodness for Andrew's mum being here to take some of the load off.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

fabric bowls



I'm pretty pleased with these quick makes, the first I plan to use for Grace's socks, the second I think is calling for some decorative gourds.
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Again, by the skin of my teeth I finished this week's knitting challenge. It's also pretty close to finishing the left front, so I'll have to decide if I do the right front, or a sleeve, or maybe even two sleeves next.
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Smiley Grace


This is her 4 month photo, taken 2 days late, this picture has the best smile, but unfortunately has blurry hands. She's such a cutie!
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2nd place!


Sausage Boy and his dance partner collecting their 2nd place ribbons for Preteen Newcomer Standard, they had to dance a Waltz and it's the first time they haven't come last, they were still the youngest though!
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Friday, September 25, 2009

Grace, 4 months

Grace turned 4 months yesterday, I dressed her in a new dress and she looked ever so sweet, I meant to take photos, but I completely forgot. I hope to dress her in the same dress in the next few days and take photos then.

She had her 4 months check up yesterday too, she weighed 11lb 2oz, which our doctor is happy with, but I'm concerned about, she's doing fine developmentally, so her slow weight gain doesn't seem to be harming her, but her breastfeeding is poor, so I constantly have sore nipples and don't get enough stimulation to have a good supply, so we've been dipping in to our frozen milk stash to keep her satisfied.

Vaccination wise, we skipped rotavirus and probably won't get it at all, same with Hep B, though we'll revaluate that if we have any concerns about her behaviour in her teens, it's not even offered in the UK, so the same is true for all our kids. We also skipped polio, though we will eventually do it, we just wanted to minimise the number of vaccines given, so if there was a reaction we'd be able to track it down more easily. So she ended up having DTaP (diptheria, tetanus, pertussis), Pneumoccocal and Hib, 3 separate jabs, she wasn't greatly impressed by this! She is reacting mildly to them, she's a bit more sleepy and a bit more grouchy in her sleep, but that seems to be all, no fever or anything else concerning.




I hope it's possible to see the details of the quilting in these blocks, I'm really pleased with how it's been going, though I haven't done any in about a month. I really want to get back to working on this project soon, so Sausage Boy can take it to his kindergarten teacher, even though it's several months past the end of kindergarten.
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Due to my low mood at the beginning of the week, I barely knitted, which means yet again it's going to require some hard graft to get my work for the week done, fortunately tomorrow is a dance competition for Sausage Boy, which usually provides plenty of knitting opportunity.

so frustrating

Stupidly when the latest crisis blew up I continued weaning off one of my meds, finally on Wednesday night I realised that it had been a bad idea and went back up to the previous dose that I'd been doing ok on.

Thursday was good, as was this morning, but I think a restless night last night has not helped how I'm feeling now, but I'm just feeling "bleugh" rather than feeling very low, in terms of productivity it amounts to the same thing, but it's a more hopeful state!

My symphysis pubis is really sore this afternoon, I blame it on having met Sausage Boy at school to walk part of his walkathon, it feels a bit lame that 3 laps and my body is complaining, when he managed 8 no problems.

I'm also having major problems with breastfeeding, my appetite has been low, which can't have helped and Grace continues to not quite stimulate me enough, we're currently doing roughly 1/3 each of fresh pumped milk, frozen milk (from when I had oversupply early on) and 1/3 at the breast. I'd really like to not reduce the stash in the freezer, but freeze some and use older stuff to rotate it. I think some bottles are inevitable at this stage, partly because she needs those large feeds to gain weight and partially because she is a distraction if I take her to things like psychotherapy appointments and now we have childcare available, it makes sense to use it and make best advantage of those appointments.

Monday, September 21, 2009

More lace

I made some bobbins out of wooden skewers and beads, but never got round to doing anything with them. I also found online a basic kit and when I got a 50% off voucher for that store in my email, I decided it was time to use it. I now have to wait 5-10 business days for delivery!

In my borrowing of books on lace, one was on lacy knitting, the very last pattern in the book is the most gorgeous square doily with a peacock in the centre, it's just crying out to be knitted, so I also took the chance to order the exact yarn used for it as well as a set of size 0 double pointed needles, I'm note sure if I've even used size 1 before, so these will feel very thin!

As I've been reading more and learning more about the various types of lace, I think I'm mostly interested in Honiton lace, though it seems that learning at least the basics of Torchon lace is a good route to that and one of the books I borrowed I like the style of for learning from it, so I intend to begin with that.

Knitting progess

I really thought I wasn't going to make it with my one ball a week schedule, even though I got a head start by finishing ball number four a few days early, but thanks to two trips as a passenger on Saturday and one on Sunday I made rapid progress, so here is a picture of where I got to with that fifth ball and the completed back.


That meant that for the rest of Sunday I felt I could work on another project, which is of my own design, a frilly, tutu style skirt for Grace. I just bought her some leg warmers (way easier than tights!) that say "Tiny Dancer" all over them, i'd bought the yarn that is used for the frills in a clearance sale, thinking it would be great to embellish something for one of the girls. I had then picked up pink yarn to match when I was at Joanns with the kids setting them up with knitting looms, soon after buying the leg warmers finally the idea came to my head. I'm planning it to be for when she's about 6 months old and starting to sit up. I'll do a rib waist band that I can thread elastic through if necessary and depending on how it hangs I may add an under layer.


Now it's Monday, I've gone back to the cardigan. The yarn was packaged in four bags of five balls, so it was a good feeling ripping into the 2nd bag. Also, the next pattern section knits up a bit faster than the previous one and also uses more yarn, so hopefully this week will be an easy one.
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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Something I don't have a picture of!

It's difficult to picture pain, I started PT this week and I'm not sure that it's the right thing, I think I may need to wait until 6 months post partum. I went because I was having some abdominal pain that I was fairly confident was muscular, the PT agreed. The problem is that she wants me walking 20 mins on the treadmill as many day as possible, but I've noticed so far this week that my SI joints are painful the following day. My theory is that they are unstable, but not so unstable as to be a problem for slowish pottering around the house and the odd stroll around the neighbourhood to be a problem, but 20 minutes at a reasonable pace is enough steps to turn that instability into a bit of inflamation, so antinflamatories would be useful, but I'm allergic to them. Ice might also be good, but I really hate icing anywhere unless I'm in really intense pain and I know it would bring relief, this would be more of a precautionary icing after sessions. Even though Grace isn't very heavy I'm finding bits of my upper body getting unhappy with holding her at times. I think I need to be a bit more thoughtful and at times like today when I was wondering around with her at church, actually putting her in out baby carrier.

busy downloading photos

I forgot to put the SD card back in my camera after the last download, so now I'm having to use the USB cable and it's a lot slower than putting the SD card into the slot. After it's all done, I have quite a few photos to post here and comment on.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

hard morning

Church was hard this morning, over the past couple of days, my anxiety levels have greatly increased, very tiny things are triggering it off and sometimes it's hard to stop that from becoming a full blown panic attack, though I have been sucessful in that.

I feel like I have a lot of things I need to do, but that is crippling for me, I'm not good under pressure.

I'm really looking forward to Andrew's mum arriving on Wednesday.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Reading material

This week, I've been reading "The Spirit Controlled Woman", it's hard reading for me, not hard going, but hard to accept my temperament and what that means, the author points out lots of good points about my temperament, but also notes that I'd probably ignore them or not believe them, it's so spot on it's scary.

Friday, September 11, 2009

oh what a week

It's too much to go into here, but this week has been possibly the most stressful week of my whole life, but ultimately, I think it has been the beginning of something that will ultimately be beautiful and bring joy to many. It's also going to be the beginning of some hard work for us. I'm so thankful for the people that helped us this week.

Friday, September 4, 2009

tools required

Every craft needs it's own tools, the key things for bobbin lace are a pillow, bobbins, thread and pins. I've plenty of thread I can experiment with, I've noticed my breastfeeding pillow has the firm finish required of a pillow, I've plenty of pins too, even if they aren't the ideal ones, but bobbins are stumping me, they aren't something I can go out and buy, I'd have to order online, but as this is something I just want to try, not necessarily take up as a life long hobby, I don't want to do that, so I'm googling to see if I can find any hints on homemade bobbins!


I wasn't sure whether or not to start a new blog for this, it's a brand new topic and I hope one that will run for some time. I was at the library today and after doing my usual browsing of knitting and quilting books, I was drawn to the section on lace.

Lace has long held a fascination for me, I remember as a child borrowing books from the library on lace related topics, though never being able to make anything, though I think I may have tried some basic bobbin lace with wool on a pin board!

I remember borrowing books on the little known craft of sprang, my experimentation was only to see what happened when I plaited wool with both ends fixed.

I learned to crochet, though I didn't make anything lacy, only granny squares, if memory serves correctly.

I could also knit, though it must have been well into adulthood when I first did a yarn over for anything other than a button hole, I love lace knitting for garments, but from time to time I have dipped a little into lace knitting that looks like crocheted lace or even bobbin lace, though it's only been reading, not doing!

I also did some macrame (I really must learn how to add accents!), I think the most adventurous thing I made was a shawl for one of my sister's teddy bears.

Lace continued to fascinate and I remember gazing in the windows of lace shops in Belgium when on holiday. I even brought lace back with me from honeymoon.

A charity shop book find made me aware of a type of lace known as tape lace, though making that type doesn't appeal at all.

My drifting eyes in the library today will hopefully be the beginning of a journey of exploration that may finally involve actually making some lace!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Knitting project



I'm knitting the cardigan in the top right corner. I needed to buy twenty balls of yarn to do this, so I looked at the calendar and worked out that if I used up a ball a week, I'd finish by Christmas and given it's red it would be good for wearing at Christmas. I've just finished the 3rd ball and it's only Wednesday, so I'm a few days ahead. I've just decreased for the armholes and I have approximately 8 inches to knit until I've finished the back. I'm pleased to have made such good progress.
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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

the bad bits

Hypnagogic and hypnapompic hallucinations are associated with narcolepsy and for me, it was frequent hypnapompic hallucinations that first led to suspicions that I had a sleep disorder. When you don't know what they are, these kind of uncontrollable hallucinations are very scary, even when you know what they are, I find that they still leave me very shaken and disoriented.

I first had one when Sausage Boy was a young baby, I thought I was hearing voices and given I was suffering from depression at the time, so did my GP, thankfully my psychiatrist realised they were associated with sleep, though it still took me almost another three years to be diagnosed with narcolepsy.

Unfortunately I do find that if I have one that it really sets me out of whack, I take an hour or more to feel that I've recovered physically and it has often meant that I've had an unintended delayed start to the day, which is what happened this morning, Andrew wanted to see if Sausage Boy could cycle to school, so after feeding Grace at 7, I stayed in bed listening to the radio and at some point I drifted into a state of hallucination. One of the problems I find is that I don't know what is real or what isn't, I don't actually know for certain whether I'm still in that state or not. At one point, I thought I'd get out of bed and mentally that is exactly what I did, but lacking the physical sensation of my feet hitting the floor meant I had a brief sensation of being in free fall. Several times I also thought that Andrew had come in to the room and was interacting with me and I was hoping he'd realise the state I was in and wake me up, only I'd then find he wasn't there, as it turned out he'd gone straight from school to work.

I finally "woke" up at about 9.30, it had been my intention to go to a La Leche League meeting, which would have required me leaving at that point, normally if I wake late, I would just throw my clothes on and go, but as I mentioned, such experiences don't usually leave me feeling like I normally would on waking up. I called Andrew as I wasn't sure if I'd need to pick the bike up etc. Even though I was attempting to have a normal conversation, he quickly picked up on something being not right. I wasn't distressed, but somehow my brain was still not functioning normally and this was evident in my tone of voice and choice of words. I usually feel an intense need for sugar afterwards, I'm not sure whether this is physiological or psychological, but I gave into it and had some chocolate along with a cup of tea.

I hope this gives an insight into living with narcolepsy.