Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Some musings

I read somewhere you shouldn't use words like musings in blog posts, but I think it was all to do with attracting readers and that's not necessarily my aim, I doubt that my battles with depression and other chronic medical things are particularly interesting, even to people who know me.

Thankfully my mood has been better the past couple of weeks, hard to tell whether it's increasing my dose of the short term mood booster that also helps me sleep, or whether it's increasing the dose of SSRI two weeks ago. The short term mood booster, Seroquel is not a great drug for long term use, though in other mental illnesses, sometimes that is necessary and the risks are worth taking. Weight gain is a common side effect, which is not good for me as I don't deal very well with being a little bigger than I would like. I don't dare step on the scales to find out how much overweight I am, I also don't really dare restrict my diet as how much I eat and what I eat seems to impact on milk production and whilst Grace is doing loads better, she does still seem to need things to be as easy as possible.

I also notice that my mood is strongly linked to my tiredness levels, Grace didn't do well overnight last night, so Andrew had to bring her to me at 6am and I didn't get back to sleep as she she fed on an off then for quite a while. Andrew generally seems to need less sleep than me, but getting up in the night for a baby is tiring for anyone and he has to work and of course I feel guilty over letting him do this for me.

I notice I haven't posted any photos for a while, to be honest I haven't taken any for a while either. Thankfully for the last week my parents have been snapping away, so there won't be a long blank in Grace's early life. I'll try and get their photos onto my computer, though I'm not sure how easy that will be if they've wiped their memory cards as they've put them on to their laptop.

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