Sunday, June 14, 2009
baby shower gift
I actually knitted this jumper with our baby in mind, I'm not quite sure what I was thinking when I bought the wool back in January, I should have chosen something neutral rather than specifically for a boy. I hope it doesn't seem stingy to gift something in this way! It seemed to be well received.
It turned out to be a difficult event for me, it was a shower for a baby that is being adopted, so naturally the conversation turned to things about the birth parents and some of the feelings surrounding that, particularly how she felt the agency handled things really well and makes sure that the birth mother is making the decision for herself and isn't being pressured into anything - a distinct possibility when the birth mother is only 15. Inside me, it raised lots of thoughts about how I felt about Grace, more than one person had suggested adoption to us and I'd found that very hard, unplanned though the pregnancy was, deep down I firmly believe that God planned for Grace to join our family, but living that out is still a process, I don't feel as bonded with her as with my other children at this stage and with all the difficulties we are having with feeding, I think it's even harder, but it is happening and I couldn't imagine giving her up.