Friday, May 22, 2009

having a hard time right now

For whatever reason, I'm finding this afternoon hard. Things seemed to drag on and on this morning, we were called early on to ask us to come earlier for our amnio, which meant we couldn't get my blood drawn before it. The amnio itself was very easy, easier than a blood draw any pain was much milder than the sharp scratch of a blood draw, I'm not sure I'd even call it pain! However after that, the monitoring didn't go so well, there wasn't much variability of the babies heart beat despite plenty of movement, which meant I spent over an hour on the monitors.

Getting the blood draw was relatively straight forward, but it was gone 2 by the time we were leaving the hospital and we needed to pick up prescriptions on the way home. I knew once we home, things wouldn't end, there were still phone calls that needed to be made, so I couldn't go flop straight away. Thankfully they all went smoothly.

It's hard to sit back and rest when there is still so much that needs to be done. It's hard to ask for help with things that even a week ago I could have managed myself, like packing my hospital bag.

I don't feel particularly anxious about the upcoming surgery and arrival of our baby, but I do feel a bit disassociated from it and in a bit of a fog, which makes it hard to focus on things that need to be done before it happens.

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